Make a Wish

I never thought I'd ever know a kid who qualified for one of those wishes from Make a Wish Foundation. Now, I not only know a bunch of kids who do, I happen to be the father of one. Boy, that was a real kick-in-the-teeth when I realized that. My little boy is considered to have such a "life-threatening" condition that good-hearted people would smile a little smile to see him meet a sports hero or ride in a racecar, or do whatever thing he wishes. What is behind those smiles? Certainly compassion, good wishes, caring. But also, I'm sure, a healthy dose of "thank god it's not me or my son." I get it, and I'm sure I used to feel that way too. But, I don't want to delve into that issue now.

Instead, I'm thinking of Make a Wish because of a Moth story I heard. If you haven't discovered The Moth, check it out. It is a storytelling series -- true stories told live on stage without notes. The podcasts are free on iTunes. It's amazing. The stories range from laugh-your-ass-off to choke-back-tears...and everything in between.

Anyway, the other week, I was listening to a Moth story told by the guy who played "Steve" in the kids t.v. show Blue's Clues. His real name is actually Steve. It was a pretty funny story. One aside to the main narrative was that Steve occassionally does work with Make a Wish. A kid with, say, brain cancer will say his wish is to meet Steve from Blue's Clues and Steve will fly to Dallas or Des Moines or wherever to make the kid's wish come true. The thing Steve said he notices, though, is that even though the kids are the ones who chose their wishes, they really chose it for their parents...that time and time again when these kids who are facing disease or disability or whatever have a chance to do something purely self-indulgent, the thing they really want to do is make their parents happy, to ease their worry, to make them smile. Wow.

I guess that doesn't surprise me. Kids are smart and understand a whole lot more than we give them credit.

Does my boy know that my wife and I stay up at night worrying about him when he has a cold? Does he know how much worry and concern we put into deciding where to send him to Kindergarten? Can he tell that there are moments that we just want to scream and jump out of our skin at the unfairness of his physical limitations? God, I hope not. We try to keep that hidden. But, he's pretty damn smart.

I don't think of him as a "wish" kid. But, if he has a wish, I hope that it is his and his alone.